Jock Cheetham
Behind “Running in to grief”
Symposium presentation 2.30pm Wed Dec 7 (via Zoom)
When someone suffers deep loss, they are left between the living and the dead. They become lodged between reticent neighbours and troubled strangers; without foundation, falling. The lucky ones may land in some barren crevice, searching for meaning even while post-traumatic stress distorts reality.
By interrogating my 2021 video “Running in to grief” and its use of poetic voiceover I will develop my ideas on exercise, grief, loss and the body. Elaborating on my video, I explore the contribution that running outdoors makes to recovery and survival. I conclude that movement through nature is as natural as the birds that soar around the mountain (Wahluu/Panorama).
In the vein of Katrin Den Elzen, I am creating a narrative trying to understand loss. Building on my video, I explore the characteristics of the narrative process of rebuilding the self and reconstructing meaning.
I examine the interaction between telling the story of grieving and trauma and the development of the trauma journey, either in its resolution, or in the ongoing search for ways to cope. Does revealing your emotional self help or hinder recovery? Does dwelling on the past trap us in the past or liberate us from it? Is storytelling about our grief a form of exposure therapy for trauma working in ways similar to exposure therapy for phobia?
How does a person discover vitality and sustenance in the crevice of grieving?
Why does this video focus on me, when my larger story is more focused on my late partner’s life story? Partly because I am part of Neroli’s story; I am left behind. Therefore, I am part of her story, a continuation of her story. There are ethical considerations too.
I am also exploring the idea of legacy within my larger documentary; specifically, storytelling as legacy. How do people who lose a loved one too young create a legacy for them using storytelling?
I situate my short video within Bill Nichols’ six modes of documentary. Along the way, I consider Michael Unger’s “extreme subjectivity” in relation to home as docu-movie. Furthermore, I look at Michael Renov’s notions of constructing selfhood and domestic ethnography. I locate my work within his mapping of a movement among some documentary filmmakers to defiantly embrace autobiography.
Jock Cheetham is a journalist, academic, father and documentary maker. He worked in newspapers (including The Sydney Morning Herald) for more than two decades. He now teaches and researches journalism, news and media at Charles Sturt University. He is a PhD candidate at The University of Sydney working on a documentary about his late partner’s life story and his own grieving process.